Sometimes He calms the child

I wish I had the talent of musicians who put lyrics and tones to their thoughts and feelings.  It is so comforting to know that others think and feel the same way at times and it is such a blessing to be reminded of His great love, care, purpose, and plan.

I've often wondered at times why I was chosen for this life.  This certainly isn't how I thought my adult world would be.  I never would have guessed I'd be married to an addict or going through the struggles day to day life brings.  A constant catch phrase is "God doesn't give you more than you can handle".  My thought is God thinks so much higher of me than I do!

I want to know the purpose behind this storm.  I want to fast forward and see what possible good can come from this trial.  I know scripture.  I am aware of Bible stories and other personal testimonies where this information has not been made clear in a lifetime.  I hope my story can be different.

I have encountered numerous aquaintances in the last month that have been shocked by the story I have to tell. Shocked not out of judgement but because they can either relate or know someone who can.  I'm ashamed that I have not spoken of this sooner and allowed God to minister to others through me.  Why do I let pride prevent telling the truth about my personal pain and struggle?

I want to write a book.  Perhaps only my family will read it, but nevertheless I want to write it in the hopes to find clarity, understanding, and just maybe a reason.

Oh that God will be glorified as he chooses to calm my storm or just give me peace.