I want to post a series of blogs about the information I gained in my education classes at Caron. Primarily because I have friends who are hurting just like I am and I hope this can help them like it has me. Additionally, I thought it might help to be available to my friends and family who may know someone they want to share it with.
So, I want to be honest. Going into this I believed many things:
I believed that each time Vince chose to get high he was making a conscious choice of his drugs over me/us/our family.
I believed that if he really wanted to stop he could decide to do so and it would be over.
I believed that after a 31 day inpatient program he would come home his old self, ready to be responsible, and 'cured' of his addiction.
What I learned will spread out over a series of posts.
Feelings I had through the course of this and sometimes still today:
Anger. How do you love someone and hate them at the same time? ( it's not as hard as you think)
Fear. Who is he gonna hurt? Where's he gonna go? When's he gonna come home?
Sadness. Why am I not enough? Why won't he choose us? Why do I have to go through this?
Frustration. I didn't choose this, I'm not accepting of this, do I have to live with this? Why?
Evil. Maybe if this kills him I won't have to deal with this anymore! (this is followed by guilt, remorse, and sadness)
Stay tuned.....
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